Nothing Worth While is Easy
by somethingawful
Summary: Set after Dublin.


"I'm sorry Steven, I... I can't... not while he is here. I can't be here"

"What... why? Just tell me I can help you..." He begged.

"You can't no one can" Brendan quickly interrupted.

Brendan Can see the tears prickling in Steven's eyes and he is not ashamed of the tears in his own. He doesn't want this, more than anything after Steven had come to him in Dublin. He wanted to stay, to stay for Steven and for Cheryl but he knew that wasn't an option any more. He knew it would destroy them both but he couldn't stay around while his father Seamus was here. The man who had created the man Brendan was, the man who moulded him into the monster he was. He was a threat, a threat to Steven and he wouldn't allow Steven to be hurt again. Although knowing the pain he was suffering was as a result of Brendan.

"Fine.. just go.. go." Steven had collapsed back onto the sofa, his eyes displaying his pain, his tiredness, his disappointment. " I am always the fool..." He softly whispers, tears freely flowing now.

Brendan reaches forward to cup his cheek. "Sorry... I will always love you" He presses a final kiss to Steven's cheek and heads for the door knowing he needs to leave now, knowing if he looked back at the boy he would be unable to. He understood he needed to do this, this was the right thing. He couldn't allow his father to poison the boy, his boy, although no more.

Brendan quickly left the flat, the flat he hoped would become a constant feature in his life like Steven, this dream was shattered after returning from Dublin.

Brendan got in his car and drove.

2 Years Later.

Brendan never imagined he would return, this place had held to much. Cheryl had begged him to come back just for a while, to help sort out ChezChez which had soon began to fail since Brendan left. He had left his share to Cheryl so she could support herself, however she wasn't as business savvey as Brendan had been. A waste of time that degree was Brendan had thought to himself. Brendan hadn't feared something so much as returning to Hollyoaks, he knew the reason a certain young man, a man who hadn't left Brendan's thoughts since the day he left and one who would never. Brendan would ask how he was when ever Cheryl rang.

(2 months after Leaving) "Bren, he is okay I think, I am not to sure love. He seems to avoid me but I understand, I think it still hurts to much... I go to the deli every now and then, he is lacking something, his usual life. I know it's still tense between him and Doug but that's to be expected. I miss him so much." Breandan can hear her holding back tears. "Da's gone home now, said he had stuff to sort out in Belfast."

(4 months) "We are much closer again, he seems to have lost the resentment towards the 'Brady' name" She lets out a forced laugh, at which Brendan cringes. "I am worried about him, his drinking has become excessive, but I had that down to the kid returning to Manchester to Amy. He is over here almost every night, I don't think he wants to be alone. Bless him."

(5 months) "He seems happier love, like he has got a bit of the spark back y'know? I... er... asked him to move in, he seemed so lonely and I guess so was I. He is moving in this friday, it will be nice not to be here on my own again, after Joel moved in with the McQueens, god forbid. We are helping each other love."

(7 Months) "He is moving out again love, he says he can't stay here, too many memories he said." She lets out an exhausted sigh. "I understand though. I used to hear him talk... talk in his sleep, he would always mention your no Bren. Maybe... maybe you should speak to him." Brendan knew this wasn't an option.

(10 Months) "tis not great love, he seems withdrawn. I asked Doug and he said business ain't going great and if things don't pick up soon, they are gonna lose it. He has began drinking again, excessively and I am really worried. When I try to speak to him he just snaps at me, I... I just don't know what to do any more." Brendan felt only guilt for what had happened to Steven, although a lot was out of his control, he blamed himself. He decided that it be best if they just didn't speak about him any more. Brendan couldn't bare it, it was killing him. To help the guilt he did send money, he was unsure as to whether Steven knew who had sent it, or whether he had actually used it, but he hoped it would help.

Cheryl's incessant begging had led him here, back to 'Hollyoaks'. Brendan was dreading his time here. He had left his club back in Dublin, which he had shortly opened after returning, why change from what he knew. The club did well, but Brendan was never fulfilled, he lacked something, or a someone. He knew he could return after his Da had left, the cause of his decision to leave in the first place but he thought it best if he didn't, it would be unfair on Steven, open up a healed wound. A wound he had hoped had healed for Steven and had moved on from on. He knew this never would be the case for him, but for Steven he hoped it was.

Little had changed, same old buildings, same old faces, although many had matured but he hadn't bothered to remember names, what was the point? He didn't care. No one seemed to notice him, for that he was thankful, he made his way to the place he used to call home, it wasn't any more, it was Cheryl's. He was here just to help her and he would quickly return back to Dublin. Although to itch in the back his mind made itself known, he could see him, he could talk to him, be near him again. He suppressed those ideas. He couldn't, he wouldn't.

On his way to the flat, he noticed the Deli, or what used to be the deli. It was now a simple café, Brendan feared the worse, that the business had failed, and he wasn't here to help. However he noticed the sign 'Hay's café'. Brendan smiled to himself "good". He then made his way up the stairs to the flat.

**Knock Knock**


End file.
